Wow! You actually made it to this page.
That’s cool as it’s really important stuff. It’s just most people don’t bother to read things like this until they have to. Probably because most legal speak is really confusing and pretty dull. So we’ve taken the legal stuff and translated it into readable English. So as you’re here, be smart and read the stuff on this page. It could prevent you from being all upset when you ask for something not covered in our service, our terms of business or even hearing from scary legal people in suits if you take something from this site that isn’t yours…
Terms of Business
Think Like a Fish will provide all services or products as set out and described in either a scope of work agreed by both parties, an order page, document or email. Therefore responsibility is on the client to conduct their own due diligence and ensure that any service or product is suitable for their needs, before purchase.
That part is especially important to note because all sales are final and non-refundable.
Meaning once you purchase any service or product from Think Like a Fish there are no cash refunds and this is understood by you before you hit the “complete order” button or pay an invoice. So as you understand and agree to these terms when you purchase our products or services, whether you actually read them before or not, please don’t get too upset if we have to politely remind you of this at any point, for any reason.
However, if for any reason your needs change after purchase, we still want to help you. So a credit will be offered for an alternative service up to the value of the original service purchased, minus any time spent or costs incurred by Think Like a Fish. In the unlikely event of this happening, we’ll work with you to help find the best option for you.
This credit is valid for up to 3 months from date of issue. Should the credit expire or be declined by you, no further credits, services or cash equivalent shall be offered or due.
The only exception to this no-refund policy applies in light of any stated guarantees offered on individual services, which are done so on a discretionary basis, apply only after services are delivered and are conditional on clients providing all information asked for and/or completing any and all required steps and actions requested by Think Like a Fish. Failure to do so will void any guarantee.
We run this site so that people like you (and people you like) can use it for personal entertainment, information, education, communication, and cyber-gratification. So go ahead and browse around all you like. You can even download stuff from the site but only for non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though, don’t fool around with the copyright and other notices all over the stuff. They’re there for a really good reason. And don’t even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including the text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless we give you written permission. And it’s not likely we will.
If you visit our site, you’re also legally obligated to (read: stuck with) the terms and conditions listed below and any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, the World Wide Web, or The United Kingdom. You shouldn’t access or browse the site if you have any problem with that, because once you start, there’s no turning back — you are bound by (read: stuck with) the terms and conditions.
So here’s the scoop on our Top Rules for Cybersurfers who hang out on our site:
1. For everyone’s sake, just assume that everything on the site is copyrighted unless we say it’s not. So you can’t use the stuff except how we say you can on this page or anywhere else on the site without our written permission. And like we said before, it’s not likely we’ll give you permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted to, the legal people are likely to veto any deal anyway. So it’s better you don’t even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the site, we’re not promising you it’s accurate. In fact, we’re not promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site, you’re using it at your own risk. Don’t call us if there’s a problem because we assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know that our disclaimer includes direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you ‘AS IS’ WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of implied warranties. Ugh! What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in legal speak because we couldn’t figure out any other way to say it that the legal people would accept. But here’s the bottom line — we’re not responsible if you’re browsing around and the site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. We sure hope that doesn’t happen, but if it does, don’t call us.
4. If you don’t want the world to know something, don’t post in on the site in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That’s because anything you disclose to us is ours. That’s right — ours. So we can do anything we want with the stuff you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can even send it to your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only that, we can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way we want to, including, developing, manufacturing and marketing products or other stuff using the information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either our property or someone else’s property we’re using with their permission. No matter what, it’s definitely not your property. You or any of your net-friends can’t use it unless we said you could on this page or somewhere else on the site. And guess what — we won’t say yes. So be careful, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you download to yourself.
6. There’s also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site that either we own or we’re using with someone else’s permission. So don’t think you have any kind of license or right to use them, because you don’t and we’re not about to give you one. If you don’t leave them alone and mess with our trademarks, logos and service marks on our site, we’ll probably go ballistic, so will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that we’re likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around with our property or the property of others.
7. We may have linked our site to lots of others. While that’s cool, it doesn’t mean we’ve looked at all those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see what’s going on. So don’t blame us if some site you link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets. Go ahead and link, but remember, you’re doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at the posting in our discussion groups or on our bulletin boards, we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And don’t be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law — anywhere, anytime. While we certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court which might ask us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. We’re also allowed to change this page and anything else on the site any time we want to. That’s because it’s ours and we have the programmers who can do it. If we do change the page, then you’re bound by (read: stuck with) those changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
If either of us wants to make something of it and wants to “sue” (a dirty word) then we have to follow these rules of engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva Convention):
This Agreement is governed by the laws of The United Kingdom, without regard to principles of conflict of laws.
To the extent you have in any manner violated or threatened to violate www.thinklikeafish.co.uk and/or its affiliates’ intellectual property rights, www.thinklikeafish.co.uk and/or its affiliates may seek injunctive or other appropriate relief, and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to first try to resolve it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator in the following location: The United Kingdom. Any costs and fees other than solicitors fees associated with the mediation will be shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution through mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to binding arbitration at the following location: The United Kingdom. Judgment upon the award rendered by the arbitration may be entered in any court with jurisdiction to do so.
If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should have seen what the legal people gave to us in the first place. We had to remind them that human torture and sacrifice was outlawed in The United Kingdom. Boy, did they look disappointed!
Think Like a Fish